Fan-fucking-tastic
by PlipWhim
Summary: There are multiple realities for every moment in our lives, and there are multiple realities where we do not exist or we are so different from our counterpart that we do not identify them as truly being us, it is in one of these realities in which I find myself. Shitty summary: Ellie wakes up in Sakura's body a year before she graduates the academy.
1. Chapter 1

Note: I do not own Naruto.

_Ellie's thoughts_

**Inner's/Sakura's thoughts**

Shitty summary: Ellie wakes up in Sakura's body a year before she graduates the academy.

There are multiple realities for every moment in our lives, and there are multiple realities where we do not exist or we are so different from our counterpart that we do not identify them as truly being us, it is in one of these realities in which I find myself.

**Fan-fucking-tastic**

Chapter 1: Poking the Angry Bear.

I do not know how or why I reside in this body. There are numerous reasons why it could be, and it would be a waste of my time to analyze the infinite number of possibilities. All I know is that I am here now, and there is nothing to my knowledge that can send me back. And to be completely honest, I don't really want to go back, I enjoy this reality a little too much than I probably should. My mind retains knowledge of the future or at least a possible future, one that is most likely non existent at this moment, and I quite like having this superior knowledge. I know I have changed too much already for _that future_ to happen, but there are still pieces, moments, that are very similar to _that future_, and so I continue to live contently in this world.

Elena Temple-better known as Ellie or ET as her brother likes to remind her- is a 19 year old college student with just enough infatuation with manga and manhwa for her to be obsessed with Naruto, Fairy Tail, Bleach, Death Note, Black Cat, Noblesse, Demon Diary … and the list goes on, and on, and on some more, hell it's never ending! She has her favorite and her obsessions, she has her most hated and her most likely to kill on spot, she's a closet fangirl who does fangirly things in her mind, and only in her mind. Throw her into an alternative universe and she'd rather screw things up for the hell of it rather than do anything good. She is indecisive, hypocritical-and she admits it-, vulgar, sarcastic, painfully truthful, and ranks number one on your asshole for a friend list.

I'm not going to lie, when I woke up in Sakura's body I was both pissed and pleased. First off Sakura, like really? could I not have gotten I don't know Hinata?, Tenten was even better than Sakura, I mean come on, boobs are my life, I live for my boobs and now I get stuck in a body with what, size A maybe size B-in the future of course, she's only 11 right now. (It is at this moment that you will realize that no, my priorities are not in the right order, nor will they ever be.) Secondly I was in the Naruto universe! Hell yes! Thirdly I'm now in the body of an 11 year old girl who is a Sasuke fangirl… ew. Fanart might depict Sasuke as mildly attractive, but manga and anime wise he wasn't that hot, by hey whatever floats your boat. Personally I'm a Temari and Anko fangirl, they have boobs and general badassness. For males you ask? Ibiki, he's one scary mother-fucker.

But anyways, on with the story…

_Ow! Fuck that hurt._

"Sakura!" a woman exclaimed running to my side. "Are you alright sweetheart, did you hit your head, I heard you tumble down the stairs, you know what I said about running in the house! You should really be more careful you could have broken your neck!"

Dazed I looked up at the woman, she had shoulder length blonde hair and a weird as fuck fringe. And _Sakura? What?_ Blinking I realized that I wasn't in my apartment anymore, actually I had no fucking idea where I was. Sweeping some hair out of my eyes-I paused, was that pink hair? confirming so when I pulled a chunk forward, I let all brain functioning stop for a moment, then proceeded to freak the fuck out.

I sat sprawled on the floor wide eyed, grasping at a lock of pick hair which was definitely not mine. Then in the matter of 2 seconds-I lied it was probably a lot longer than that-all the information clicked into place, I have pink hair, I'm being called Sakura, and a woman who shares a similar appearance with the anime version of Sakura's mother is standing over me.

_Well fuck._

"I'm fine Kaasan," I waved her off, the reply was automatic, it took me a moment to even realize I what I had said.

_Odd_, I thought.

**What's **_**odd**_ **is you being in my body**, came an unexpected-although it really shouldn't have been- reply.

_Oh, joyful bunny rabbits and rainbows! I even get a fucking inner voice, how tremendously exciting!_ I quipped back to it- looking back I'll admit it was a little harsh for a first greeting.

**Oh, you're upset!? You're not the one with a parasite invading your fucking body! Get out! **Raged the voice.

_Never said I was upset,_ maybe poking the already angry bear wasn't a good idea, but hey life's short, _is the whimsical tones of sarcasm too much for you the comprehend? And also no, I don't think I will… what if I leave and get stuck in Sasuke's body, that would be horrifying._

**Shannaro!**

_Cool your non-existant tits girly, I don't know how to leave even if I wanted too_. I sighed, _fan-fucking-tastic_.

"Sakura," Sakura's mother shook me, bringing me out of my inner dialogue- or would it be considered a monologue?. "Are you sure? You're spacing out a bit too much for my liking."

"Yeah, Kaasan, I'm fine," she gave me a questioning look.

"Really, I'm fine, no need to worry. See," I said, getting up off the floor. "I'm fine."

"Well if you feel dizzy make sure to tell me," she rubbed my arms, pulling me into a hug.

When I realized she wasn't letting go, I reached my arms around her, patting her back and pulled away. Hugging, it wasn't something that I dislikes per-say, but it wasn't an activity I readily enjoyed.

"Breakfast is almost ready," she said turning around and heading toward what seemed to be the kitchen.

"M'kay, I'll be in, in just a minute," I replied, thinking fast I ran up the stairs.

_Which one is your room_, I asked the voice, looking at my choice of closed doors.

**Second one on your right**, grumbled-my?- inner.

_Okay little Miss grumpy_, poke, poke, poke, poking the bear.

A snarl was the only response I got.

Opening the door I walked into a relatively normal pre-teen bedroom, without an excessive amount of pink-Ha! fanfiction writers take that-, but there were a couple of photo's of Sasuke with heart drawn on them above the bed.

_Seriously? How could you sleep with those things over your bed? Creepy_, I commented.

… **You find that creepy? Really!? You know what I think is creepy!? Invading another person's body!** The voice screamed.

_Each to their own._

**Yeah,** _**each to their own**_ **body!**

_Okay, I'll give you that one._ I laughed, oh the joys of poking the bear.

**What I want you to **_**give**_ **me is my body back! Now! **She raged.

_Would if I could deary, would if I could_, I sighed sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to relax for a moment. _Information overload_.

**You seem to think quickly enough on your feet**. Replied the voice.

_It comes with the territory._

**What territory?** She questioned

_The territory of a sarcastic asshole_, I sighed.

**You're not leaving are you?** the voice asked, sighing woefully.

_Nope! _I grinned back.

_**Fan-fucking-tastic.**_

_Hey no swearing!_ I scolded.

**Shannaro! You hypocrite! **She shrieked.

Any good? Kind of just wrote this today with very little thought going into it.

Review if you want, I know I don't.

Thanks,

Plip


	2. Chapter 2

Note: I do not own Naruto.

_Ellie's thoughts_

**Inner's/Sakura's thoughts**

Chapter 2: Women are Always Right.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

With the help of the _lovely _Sakura, I was eventually able to make my way to the Academy. Looking around, I wasn't very impressed. There was the joyous sounds of screaming children, which made me want to bash someone's head into a wall repeatedly. Then came the discovery that people didn't seem to understand the concept of personal space, as I was bumped, pushed, and generally jostled about as I tried to make my way to the classroom. And when I finally made it into the classroom and sat down I was assaulted by a combination of both screaming and invasion of my personal bubble.

Yamanaka Ino, was by far one of the most annoying little pest I'd ever had the _pleasure_ of meeting. Her shriek of "Sasuke-kun!" seemed to break the sound barrier, had I ever known that I would have had to deal with this I would have skipped.

Groaning I let my head fall onto my arms, in a position not unlike Shikamaru, who I was currently sitting next to.

_How can you stand it,_ I groaned to Sakura.

**Stand what? **

_This, _I raised my head glaring at the offending cretins. _How could you ever stand being in a classr-. Oh wait, you were one of them. Annoying, loud, bothersome. You were part of this._

**I don't see why you're complaining, it's not even that bad. Naruto-baka isn't even here yet.**

Huffing I settled back down into my arms. _Disgusting, vile little sub-human creatures_.

Sakura laughed, **well it seems karma does exist. You know this would all go away if-**

_Sakura, although it would be wonderful to stop inhabiting your body I have no idea as to how the fuck I'm supposed to- you know what, no, we have already gone through this a dozen times on the way to the Academy, I'm not doing this again. I don't know how to leave so if you would kindly shut up it would be much appreciated._

**Shannaro! You complete ass-**

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

And that ladies and gentlemen is how I ended up with a massive headache. Looking back on it I realize that telling someone-whose body you just happen to have taken over- to shut up isn't such a good idea. Hindsight is always 20-20. Foresight is _not-there_.

It was lunch time now, and once again there were loud and obnoxious children running about. I had successfully avoided drawing attention to myself although I knew that it wouldn't last long. The classroom was locked for the time being and I was stuck outside, luckily I snagged a spot under a tree before it could be taken over by some obtuse, moronic child and their friends.

**You know, technically you're also a child.** Sakura commented on my complaints.

_Technically I'm an adult stuck in the body of a child._

**Technically you're a bitch. Cha! Take that!**

_You seem to believe I'd find that insulting...but I don't. Nice try though. _I had given up on trying to tell her off for swearing (she was only 11), but quickly gave up as it was more trouble than it was worth.

**Arg! you-**

"Hey Forehead!" the voice cut off Sakura's response. "What are you doing? Sitting over there all by yourself. I bet it's because you finally figured out you're so ugly and that Sasuke would never want you and is-"

"Yamanaka, while I understand blondes tend to have the IQ of a rock. Trying to insult me solely based on the fact I'm sitting under a tree, isn't offending, rather it's quite pathetic." I sigh, gazing blankly at Ino and her entourage of followers.

"Whatever Forehead!, you're just jealous that I have beautiful symmetrical features and you don't!"

"Bravo! you know the word symmetrical! A gold star for you. You know Ino, I never really thought your name suited you, you don't look like a boar. Your parents should have called you Sabaku no Moruratto." I leaned back watching the information settle in. When it seemed they couldn't get the last reference, I added, "seeing as you strongly resemble a naked mole rat."

Ino raged,"I don't look like a rat! you-"

Becoming tired of her voice, I tuned out of her rantings. _I can't believe i'm arguing with this child._

**You do see the irony of this don't you.**

_Fuck off._

**How… eloquent.**

_You know I've always wanted to shave all my hair off-_

**That's just cruel...and petty.** Sakura broke in.

_Wake up and smell the bread deary, the world is a cruel place to live._

**Isn't it 'wake up and smell the coffee'?**

_No it's bread._ It was coffee...I know.

**I'm pretty sure it's coffee.**

_You're wrong._

**Shannaro! No you're wrong! You just don't want to admit you-**

_Who's the older one here? That's right me… and what does that mean? That I am always right. _

**BUT YOU'RE WRONG!**

_Lalalala...Not listening!_

**And you call me a child.**

XxXxXxXxXxXx

I was immensely happy when the day came to an end. Walking out of the Academy I bypassed the parents and their children, normally I would be picked up by my-Sakura's- mother or father according to Sakura, but today they both were busy and I was to walk "straight home and not make any stops along the way." Stretching, I began walking, having Sakura to direct me back to her house.

School hadn't been as terrible as I initially thought it might have been. Luckily-for me- there wasn't Taijutsu classes on Tuesdays (had I forgotten to mention it was a Tuesday, because it was), and it was also a theory day for Ninjutsu and Genjutsu, I did not want to deal with chakra manipulation or fighting just yet. The basic core classes weren't too difficult, history and anything written on the board were the only things I was completely lost on. While I might be able to talk to people in japanese, I couldn't read the language for shit. I only know one kanji, the one for love, and that was only if it was tattooed onto Gaaras forehead. Basically I was hopeless when it came to reading and had to rely upon Sakura to 'translate' them for me.

**HEY! Wrong street Baka!** Sakura grumbled.

Glancing around I realised that I ended up walking into the restaurant district.

**Oh just keep walking, if we make a left up ahead we can get to the street we were supposed to be on.**

Sighing I followed her directions and turned left into a little alleyway connecting the two streets. Looking up from the road I realized it was blocked by a group of three people, who I instantly recognized: Kakashi, Asuma, and Anko. An argument seemed to have broken out between Anko and Asuma over god knows what, and Kakashi seemed to be stuck in the middle. Not seeing a way around them I backed up ready to turn around and find a different route. But before I had the chance Kakashi seemed to realize the group was blocking the alley and pulled Anko to the side to make room for me to pass.

"-It's best if you cut off their fingers first then skin them," Anko continued, their argument unperturbed by my presence. She was even motioning chopping off someone's fingers and shaving off skin.

"Anko," Asuma sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Only you would think that."

Unable to stop myself from defending the well endowed women before me, I turned to the trio "she's right you know," I commented looking up at them.

Turning to face me Asuma looked down, tapping off the ashes on his cigarette. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, don't you know," I paused dramatically. "Women are always right."

Anko let out a loud laugh, "Ha! see!" she exclaimed, dancing around like the bat-shit crazy person we all know she is, indicating that she had won the argument.

Shaking his head at her antics, Kakashi let out a small chuckle, "Not always little one."

I glared at him as he reached out and ruffled my hair. "Better safe than sorry." I nodded my head towards Anko-who was still celebrating-"I wouldn't want to get on her bad side."

"No, no you would," Asuma moaned, realizing that no matter what he said now, Anko had won.

Laughing at his devastated expression I continued walking home.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

A thank you to fluffybunnay, for the review. :)

This is again done with very little thought going into it.

Review if you want, I know I never do.

Thanks,

Plip


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